rubyredcowgirl

2004-05-02T17:48:00.000+10:00

work dammit

2004-05-02T17:47:00.000+10:00

well well

2003-05-31T01:49:00.001+10:00

post

2003-05-31T01:49:00.000+10:00

post

2003-05-31T01:40:00.000+10:00

hello

2003-05-24T21:30:00.000+10:00

Newtown Stories over at Shutterfly

2003-05-24T20:53:00.000+10:00

The past week has been like stepping into the actual pieces of the mirror Im positive I broke somewhere and didn't hear the smash.
For reasons of confidentiality I won't go into any of my hurrendous week but I will share the teeniest bit of mandaness which sprung from inside the deep chasms of my being and lept me out of the duldrums which were infesting my every pore.
For quite some time now, legendary Sydney hobo and obvious but charming nutter, "UFO Jesus Highway Guy" has been standing on the same spot along the Princes Highway, adorning his body with an atrociously made placard proclaiming Jesus' 2nd coming and something pertaining to UFOs.
He has this wintery, whispy grey beard resemblescent (vocabulary is far more interesting when you make it up) of gandalf the grey, not the whitest of whitey whites, and a do that would give Joh Bailey heart failure upon first glance. He is one of those legendary almost icons in Sydney, who serve no greater purpose than to add character to the corners of this vibrant town.
Last November I had a friend from Perth in town on her first visit and I had told her little stories about UFO Jesus Highway Guy and how whenever you drove past his spot, he would be there without a doubt.
Of course the one day I drove her past, he was gone. I told her maybe he was sick and it was the first time I'd never seen him on his corner. He made a liar our of me but I reassured my Westerly guest that when we drove past another day he'd be there for sure. Of course he never appeared, my friend went back to Perth and UFO Jesus Highway Guy never reappeared.
I assumed he must have died.
He just was gone, missing, vanished into thin air. I was upset when I realised this because he was someone who added a bit of colour and flavour to Sydney, someone whom Im sure had a family who loved him, someone who had a lot of stories to tell. He was also someone I'd always wanted to take a photograph of. His time had come, or so I thought...

Today whilst driving down the Princes Highway at the end of the worst week I've had this year, with the rain plummeting down as I excursioned out with my new EOS to take photographs, feeling very glum and sorry for myself, I looked up and sure enough, just as clear as every other time I'd seen Highway Guy many times before, there he was. Standing there facing the same direction, watching the traffic zoom by,hoping one of them at least would listen to his message.
I may never have listened to the particular message on his placard, but he got something to me, whatever way you look at it.
I was happy to see an ecentric stranger on the side of the road, he made me smile.

2003-05-14T17:47:00.000+10:00

kit kat chunkies are far too chunky

2003-05-14T16:44:00.000+10:00

may day project is well underway and im still yet to add my pics. too many things occurred on May 10 this year. its was an aligning of the stars for an amanda nuthouse day im sure.

2003-04-17T22:20:00.000+10:00

what does one do when one feels completely alone in the world, even though one may be completely surrounded by people..
one comes to a stupid journal on the internet to moan and whine, like there might actually be someone out there listening.
and then what point is that, as most people who would be out there listening, would ultimately think you a sad, pathetic loser with too much time on their hands on a thursday night, or said person would understand exactly what you are saying and ultimateyl then just feel more depressed in themselves also, becvause you've just reminded them what a sad, pathetic, mundane, deadly boring life they have themselves. Thus coming to the conclusion, that neither one would offer you any advice as it is, making one realize that the notion of writing a journal on the internet for all the world, but at the same time really nobody, to see is in itself a waste of time, and farcical. Farcical? I really could go to dictionary.com and check that, thus making myself appear more intelligent, but why bother when Id only be trying to impress either the person whom already thinks I'm a sad pathetic fool,or another sad, pathetic fool who really couldn't give a rat's arse whether I spelt a word incorrectly, as they themsevles are by now, far too caught up in their own misery and onto their 3rd vodka.
The wonders of the internet..I could very easily delete or post, for what purpose..lord knows, in fact i dont think the lord would know or care as he didnt invent the internet and Im sure thinks it to be quite a waste of human time.
I should be out getting drunk instead. God would surely agree on that one.

2003-03-29T09:40:00.000+10:00

ned kelly..
australian hero or cold blooded murderer
its so typically australian, that whole Ned Kelly story. An underdog to the core, an Irishman picked on and framed by British minded police, sure he killed some people, but we love him anyway.
Being a Kelly myself its always been a bit close to the heart.Heath Ledger played the man superbly and so good to see an Aussie in the role.As per usual, Im voracious for information about it now. Even though I did the whole Bushrangers thing right through school, I guess back then I wasn't as curious to make up my own mind about whether the man was a victim of police brutatlity who caught himself in the wrong place, or he truly was an animal as he was painted by the press and police.
Such is life..would be a really hammy way to sign off, so I won't.

2003-02-26T19:14:00.000+10:00

i quit the cafe after a whole mmm..3 months, not even!
Ah well, it was fun while it lasted..er no it wasn't. I will miss my boyfriend, Mr Spicy and Mr $2.50 worth of cappuccino. They always made my night. In fact on my final shift last weekend, Mr $2.50 worth said the most lovely things. He told me that he was sad I was leaving and wished me well in whatever I do. He was just so sweet and told me to never live life for work and he was sure I would succeed in wherever I go and whatever I do. He used to bring us lollies as a tip and he always asked for $2.50 worth of cappucino. I will miss him.

2003-01-22T23:12:00.000+10:00

tonight was bizarre to say the least. i was wokring at the cafe as i do, and noticed an argument breaking out between some customers and one of the night managers from the bar.next thing i look up and this woman is physically attacking our staff member and they are fighting and then as they are trying to get away, the very big guy, grans her by the feet and trips her over. it was chaos. everyone got up and people were shouting to stop them. all our staff ran out to try and do something as these lunatics are running away.i was calling someone to get security but..well apparently security were down in a buggy escorting some people to their car. it was ridiculous.
the guy then threatened to run some of the barboys over and was going to come back and get us later or some rubbish. the cops were called and were still there well after 11 pm..
what is wrong with people? this was all over a bottle of wine that they didnt want. A BOTTLE OF WINE.
I am now feeling totally useless and guilty for not helping Sue. Its had me feeling ill all night. It all happened so quickly and we all just stood in shock I think. I was calling out to the guys at the bar to help her but nobody really knew what to do. It was like it was allin slow motion. Really strange...
Ive felt sick all night and its affected me so much that Im actually here recounting it like a dork.I think I'll take her some cookies or something next time I go in to work. :/

2003-01-19T01:57:00.000+10:00

i am goddess of all things coffee

cappucino, latte, mocha, short black, flat white, long black
damn i even make a great pot of tea
i really don't like the browness under my nails however.
i am queen of the grind and nobody can stop me now.

*voice inside head..."yes amanda, you do deserve a medal."*

2003-01-16T22:53:00.000+10:00

i embraced my creative side today and explored the intracacies and joys of using black and white film. i truly love the way a photograph looks in black and white. strangely there's more character to be seen or something. like some magic olde world dust has been sprinkled over the lens to make the mystery of it all come to life..or perhaps remain mysterious. was that an oxymoron? or just a really stupid thing to say, thus making me the straight moron.
i love my town and i love taking pics of places in this city. there are so many amazing photo opportunites in sydney and once in a while i venture away from the backyard to find something a little more intoxicating.
today i did this..

click on the link to my photolog..shutterfly to see my day

2003-01-15T11:53:00.000+10:00

my babelicious rockchick friend Cyn just sent me a Cynerific compilation cd and the opening track is the theme form Monkey. i dont know where the hell she found it, but its not just the regular tv theme, its this super spectacular mega monkey mix!
first there was thought..
Monkey really is spunky
oh God, the wonder woman theme is on here too!

2003-01-15T11:32:00.000+10:00

A good friend of mine, another lover of poetry got me hooked on Sylvia Plath. This woman was incredible. The way she could think up a thought and a moment...
it blows me away

The Arrival of the Bee Box

I ordered this, clean wood box
Square as a chair and almost too heavy to lift.
I would say it was the coffin of a midget
Or a square baby
Were there not such a din in it.

The box is locked, it is dangerous.
I have to live with it overnight
And I can't keep away from it.
There are no windows, so I can't see what is in there.
There is only a little grid, no exit.

I put my eye to the grid.
It is dark, dark,
With the swarmy feeling of African hands
Minute and shrunk for export,
Black on black, angrily clambering.

How can I let them out?
It is the noise that appalls me most of all,
The unintelligible syllables.
It is like a Roman mob,
Small, taken one by one, but my god, together!

I lay my ear to furious Latin.
I am not a Caesar.
I have simply ordered a box of maniacs.
They can be sent back.
They can die, I need feed them nothing, I am the owner.

I wonder how hungry they are.
I wonder if they would forget me
If I just undid the locks and stood back and turned into a tree.
There is the laburnum, its blond colonnades,
And the petticoats of the cherry.

They might ignore me immediately
In my moon suit and funeral veil.
I am no source of honey
So why should they turn on me?
Tomorrow I will be sweet God, I will set them free.

The box is only temporary.

2003-01-14T23:51:00.000+10:00

tonight everything seems so much clearer. i started the day out so shabbily, feeling sorry for myself. "oh something new", the audience shout in unison!
i guess with this wacky job im 'doing' at the moment with a boss who seems to grow stronger by belittling others..she actually seems to get bigger when she does it. her body grows and her nostrils widen as she condescendingly pats me on the head with that "could you be any thicker" look she gives you. like a giant blood sucking giant thing in a cartoon evilly cackling over me in slow motion.
so im digressing, today was a good night because well...she wasn't there! gone for a whole lipsmacking month.
and im starting to believe that magical things can happen...
who am i kidding? i wear angel wings around the house, for god's sake! ive always believed magical things happen, but today, or at least tonight, im feeling fresh and kinda ready to take whatever the world throws at me. maybe its because im in my pyjamas and about to land in dreamtown but the day aint so bad.
like that bono guy says.."i always wake up optimistic but end up going to bed depressed." oh hang on, thats a sucky analogy, that doesn't work at all, you dork.

2003-01-14T15:05:00.000+10:00

added one of those tagboard thingies from flooble

2003-01-14T13:58:00.000+10:00

comments, any comments?

2003-01-14T11:53:00.000+10:00

scary as it is..i think i have a lord of the rings obsession. what's happening to me? this is my mother's obsession, not mine! she's overtaken me! that bloody ring has done this, oh god, will i start growing pointy ears and smoking a pipe soon too? damn you mum.

2003-01-14T11:32:00.000+10:00

and so i wonder if the endless search for what is right in my life will ever end..always shuffling about, never finsihing anything, constantly and mindlessly looking for something new and exciting. i doubt i ever will find that thing that settles my searchful heart, i'm not even sure what it is,or in which category it falls!
maybe i need to go lay in the sunshine and let the rays take me into a headspace that only the elves would understand.
did she say elves? manda, methinks you're losing planet earth.

2003-01-14T09:54:00.000+10:00

a cowgirl rides the trail of truth...